Introduction and my background

Hello there, and welcome to my blog. Allow me to give a little background on myself. Not too much as I prefer to make this blog fairly anonymous.

I was born in the early 80's in the West Indies. Within that region what is known as the southern Lesser Antilles. Born to a well off family, my father was a medical professional and my mother a house wife. I can remember as far back to the point where I recall wearing diapers, so with that being said, allow me to describe my educational childhood. Ever since I was a young boy I always seemed to be a bit of a thinker and dreamer. There were times I recall just walking around the house bottomless, only wearing a t-shirt and exploring this new world that I had only recently entered.

My parents, sent me to pre-school very early at the age of 2 and a 1/2. I guess that is pretty young. Well it was something that my mother has admitted a few times that she regrets. mainly because I grew very distant after that. I am not sure myself if it was that incident or the mental health issues that would later plague my life. Everything was always such a blur.

Primary school came after, and my parents, acting on some "good" advice from a now not-so-liked relative, sent me a private primary school. This primary school (Elementary being the North American equivalent) was where many of the country's elite, expatriate, and generally white people would go too. I was one of the few children of colour. That experience I think had an effect on me. Sometimes I got teased for the colour of my skin, but not as bad as some of my other pupils, as I was a more mixed person. I also remember for some reason or the other, I was taken out of the school and put into a "special" school for learning disabilities. For about 3 years I was there. In that school I was put with a mix of pupils of all background and races. For some reason I found that I enjoyed and took greater liking to that environment. When it was decided that I had completed my course, I was sent back to the original primary school. That did not go to badly, but that good either. Only making who I thought were real friends after a year. During that time of my life I remember little instances of feeling worthless. That no one cared or liked me. That I was doomed and that maybe I should kill myself. They were only thoughts at the time, and never did I really act on them, nor did I share them with my parents or anyone else. I found myself in child group therapy as well from time to time. I never knew why I was sent to these things, I just did it.

Well moving on. After passing the National Exams, I found my self having passed for one of the "better" schools of the land. Funny because when we used to go for Family drives, I used to see this particular college (College is also considered Junior/High school), and saying that I wanted to go there. Well I did. My parents say that I did so well at the National Exams that I was in the top 5. I don't know if I believe it though. People say all kinds of things. At this time to I was going through puberty, and all of its anxious wonders of a developing male body. (That I shall leave for another entry later on)

Secondary school and this period of adolescence was very much very mixed. The school body itself compromised of mainly black and Indian (Of India) ethnicities. Not only was I in for that shock, I also was shocked by the culture of these very individuals. Some of them especially the black students were extremely superstitious, and since I had developed a taste for Rock music, that made me a "Devil man". Then things like evolution and even the dinosaurs that all the kids believed in back in primary school was disputed by these students. Religion and dogma ruled their belief system. I began to dislike, rebel, and resent them. Quickly I became an outcast, and soon found myself hating the school and all its activities. I tried to join with the Cadets, that failed. Couldn't seem to adjust to the majority black in there. Scouts also failed. Eventually I just wanted nothing to do with the school.

That attitude continued from form 1 t0 3(similar to the grade system) until when I was 15 and my current friends all abandoned me over a stupid incident which I shall probably come back to later on. Then I was forced to make friends with who ever was left over. Who ever did not "not like" me. My school grades had suffered a whole lot from this time. So did my self-esteem among other things. Which was not that high to begin with. My parents were angry and I guess so was I.

After form 4 is where things seemed to come together. I dropped the subjects I hated. Like French and Spanish and took up other subjects I enjoyed, like Biology, Geography, Social Studies, and a few more as well. I struggled with math, but it seemed that most of my immediate family had math problems. I have 2 sisters by the way, which I am sure will make it in the other entries. Many things occurred around this time too out of school, which I shall include in the other entries. Including the sexual ones, for all you interested folks out there. That will come too.

After form 5 I wrote the high school exams, also known as CXC. At this time I had also just gotten my driver's license, which was an amazing time for me as well. Many parties, many girls, many night outs. Some were even drunken night outs, all at age 17. I did get my passes though, I failed Chemistry, but say what, I didn't need to be a chemist.

After that, there was a short stint at a private International School. But then I ended right back with the very same people I thought I left forever back in primary school. I just ignored them mostly and kept to myself and the few friends I knew from before as well as the new friends that were good. Within that time many things occurred on the outside, and that is when my struggles with mental illness became more apparent. I got my credits from the school, and then left. After that I took up flight school.

So there you have it. A very much "in a nutshell" description of my earlier days of schooling. I am not sure what this blog is for, nor it's purpose, but anyone can feel free to make comments, or even ask questions. And as I said before I shall be keeping this blog anonymous. So I shall let it begin now...